|
You see , when I got pregnant with Abby, life was
grand! I was 26, healthy, and newly married. I had always wanted
children and was very excited about becoming a parent, I took my prenatal
vitamins--before I even conceived--drank two liters of water daily, and avoided
anything I thought might be harmful. I had absolutely no morning sickness
and had a blissfully uneventful pregnancy. Looking back now, I realize
that Abby was very inactive in the womb, she even failed to turn head-down into
the birth position, forcing me to have a C-section delivery. I also knew
that she measured small for her gestation, but the doctor just chalked that up
to incorrect dates. I knew in my heart the date she was conceived, so her
small size worried me, but I chose not to think about it. When the doctor
offered me the AFP Triple When Abby was born, my first thought was that something "wasn't right," and why wasn't I surprised? I guess that mother's intuition had told me that there might be problems, but I chose to ignore my gut feelings and enjoy my beautiful pregnancy. Immediately after her birth, Abby was rushed to Shand's Hospital at the University of Florida, about 45 minutes away. I was trapped at the local hospital recovering from my C-section and I so desperately wanted to see my baby! The first time I saw her, however, it just didn't seem real; it was like she wasn't really mine! I was afraid to even touch her. I went home that night and thought about my situation. The doctors had told me that she might die in her first year or two of life. I considered how it would feel if she died that day, and decided it would feel no less painful if she died immediately, or years later. I made the decision that night to love her with all my heart so that the day that she does leave this earth, I can say, "I loved her well. She knew happiness on this earth." When I saw her next, I picked that baby up, held her, and told her she was coming home with me! Abby had to stay in the NICU for 2 weeks while she received a g-tube and stabilized before I convinced the doctors that I could care for her at home. I was still very concerned that she would suddenly die, but I wanted her to come home to the room that I had prepared for her. I guess I thought I could "heal" her with my love, and I strived to be "super mom."
After 2 years at the post office, juggling work and caring for Abby, (the nursing hours were quickly exhausted) I reevaluated my situation and decided that being a career postal clerk was not for me. The job did not allow me the flexibility and the time off I needed in order to give Abby all she deserves. I resigned from my position and decided to return to school and finish my degree in Cardiovascular Technology. I have been enrolled in classes full-time for a year now, and am on the downhill slope towards graduation. I am so glad that I will be able to earn a good income and have more flexibility in a field that is challenging and interesting to me. If not for Abby, I may never have taken the plunge to go back to school at 29 and be where I am today!
Long ago, a friend and I were talking about having children. We saw a woman pushing her disabled son along in a wheelchair and we said to each other, "Wow, what would that be like?" We agreed that it would be a hard thing to deal with, but I remember saying to her, "I think I would be a good mom of a special needs child." And she agreed that I would. I guess God was listening that day. (Written in 2003 by Abby's Mom -- Kelly Roberts, a recent honor graduate of Santa Fe Community College's School of Cardiovascular Technology who currently works as a vascular sonographer, and is also an Independent Beauty Consultant with Mary Kay Cosmetics.)
Parents share their heartfelt experiences. Click for more stories
|
Hello
There! My name is Kelly Roberts and I am the proud parent of Abigail, who
is 4 years old now and has SLO, or Smith-Lemli- Opitz Syndrome. I have been
thinking a lot lately about how much my life has changed in the last 4 years
since Abby entered this world and turned my life upside down. I feel like
I have been going through a metamorphosis that isn't complete, and I guess I
never will stop changing.
Screen
test at 18 weeks, I declined to have it because I felt I had nothing to worry
about and I didn't want any "false positives" hovering over the rest
of my pregnancy.
Well,
after 5 months of total care, meds and g-tube feedings around the clock, you
know I was exhausted! I found out through my insurance that we could get a
home health nurse for a designated number of hours per year, so we called the
nursing agency and they sent us Alice. At first, when Alice started
helping me with Abby, I was a martyr. I had to bathe her, I had to draw up
her meds, and I was in charge! Finally after a few weeks, I began to trust
Alice and hand over some of the responsibilities to her. What a
relief! I started taking a few classes at the college again, and then when
Abby was a year old, I got hired on at the Post Office and went back to work
full-time.
I
can't imagine not having Abby around anymore, and I actually plan and dream for
her future now, rather than grieve for the dreams that were lost when she was
born disabled. It has definitely been a learning process for my entire
family, but we feel blessed to have been touched by this little angel! I
have opened my eyes to the world of disabled children; a world I always knew
existed but previously chose to ignore. I no longer pretend I don't see
the handicapped children, I make eye contact, and I smile at them, because I see
the JOY of life in their eyes!
