"Choose Your Battles"

(An Excerpt Taken from 'My Very Own Tool Supply' a book by Sylvia A. Miller)

My daughter and I are living with autism even more than my sons.  Let's face it, my boys are just living!  But all too often (especially when they are inappropriate in a public place) they hear me say that "autism means nothing to me!"  And it doesn't really when it comes to living our lives to the fullest.  I will not allow autism to become an excuse for inappropriate behaviors.  I will not allow autism to keep us locked up in our home and away from the places and activities we love.  I will not allow autism to divide us as a family so that we no longer participate in family activities.  

I went through the so-called "grieving process" very quickly and I have come to accept autism as a way of being not as a way of life.  I am not waiting for a cure, and I am not trying to change my boys into "typical" ones.  I am simply doing my best to learn their "customs" (as I would anyone from another "planet") and then I try to adapt them to life as I know it.  If my sons learn a little bit about this strange place called "earth" and especially the creature they call "mom" in the process, well it makes it all the more sweet doesn't it?

Now, if I have learned anything over the past 9 years, it's that my sons are like beautiful (or, let's be real, at times, not so beautiful) intricate patterns with complex designs and a lifetime of twists and turns.  There is no way to see everything all at once, appearances change in different lighting, and each time I look at them (like a good movie) I will always find something that wasn't there before!  So, I can't possibly expect to absorb all of this at the same time, let alone address it! 

So, I have learned that to be successful, I must not take on too much at one time and I must always choose my battles.  This rule has helped me to handle the most exasperating situations and has always left me standing and ready for the constant challenges that a family living with autism faces, sometimes daily.

While I can't guarantee that what has worked for us will work for you, I can share our experience in the hope that you will gain some insight into how to handle your particular situation.

So, with all this said, feel free to choose your battle:

"Nakey is Free!" 

The Get Dressed and Stay Dressed Battle

"No Buzz Buzz!" 

 The Hair Cut Battle

"Noodles and Juice!"

The Other Foods Battle

"VCR Number 9" 

 The Rewind Battle

"Eat My Dust!"

The Running Battle

"Take Me Away, Please!"

The Sanity Battle

Lose the Skin You're In!"

The Sensory Battle

"Oh For One Good Night!"

 The Sleep Battle

"A Matter of Space"

The Sprawling Battle

"But It's Stinky Poopey!"

 The Toileting Battle

"Nice Hands"

The Touching Battle

"And So I Cry!"

The Whining Battle

To

Please note that some of these pages are currently under construction and so are not yet linked to pages with information.  Visit often since there is lots more information to come.

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